Saturday, April 19, 2014

I Want to Do More

I want to do more than this, but I do. I have to do more things than this. What ways are you bringing to my daughter? What way does she hear? What way does she want to do? I have to do more than her. I have to do more to impress her. I have to do more than her. Why am I so stupid?

I wanted to do more than her. She is so mastered at keeping things from me. I wanted to know is she struggled? I want to know if the baby is okay. I want to know why she didn't tell me. I wanted to poison her water. I wanted to know why she didn't feel me anymore to do something like this.

I have to do things well - so I know she left for that reason. I know I fucked up. I know she wasn't always there. Why is she so messed up? Why did she tell her buddies nothing? Why is she so private? Have I said nothing to her about living? I had to do things on my own. Why is she so messed up in the head? She will suffer and I won't be there for her.

I am sick Kenya.

Working on you was the only thing I wanted to do. You were my project.

From my own dad then and now

Peace